I’ve drawn out the heist plan in acrylics.

You remember Ezra, our TA for Intermediate Ice Sculpting? Since graduation he’s been working for the local bank as a janitor.

He’s cased the joint pretty thoroughly in that time. It’s the jackpot — there’s enough in the vault to cover five whole credit hours between us!

Make this score…

HISTORY

An elegant anti-imperialist heist

Details of Mohammed Mirza’s early life are sparse. Born sometime in the 1870s to a wealthy Persian family, his early career involved secretarial work and translation. He earned the honorific Kashef al Saltaneh when working in Khorasan — Kashef meaning “inquirer”, Al Saltaneh meaning “on behalf of the monarchy”.

War, propaganda, and foreign intrigue in the marketing of the morning meal

Mealtimes were a little more laissez-faire in the days before the Civil War. Americans worked on their own farms, eating when the opportunity presented itself. Some ate morning meals, and some didn’t; each family followed its own routine.

The second industrial revolution brought more of the workforce into the cities…

The loss of a one-of-a-kind find

In 1915, as fighting on the Western front ground down into killing fields of trench warfare, German paleontologist Ernst Stromer published an article detailing an intriguing find. A 1912 expedition to the Bahariya Formation, in Egypt, had unearthed fossils from a singular new dinosaur.

The specimen represented the most massive…

SATIRE

An informative guide

It’s sobering to think how likely it is you’ve debated (or worse, agreed) with a comment churned out by some grunt from a cube farm in Smolensk. Or worse, that the comment was typed by a bot (is it really typing if there’s no physical keyboard?). …

SATIRE

Few can spot anything amiss in this photo!

Exhibit A

Though virtually undetectable, product — ONE handsome pink tennis shoe — has been superimposed onto subject — ONE girl in yellow hat drinking coffee.

Business-driven subliminal marketing — referred, henceforth, as BDSM — uses “stimuli beneath the threshold of conscious perception” to entice the public with commercial products. …

Because you have other things to do besides read an entire book

The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald

9/10
Concise and to the point. The helpful Wikicommons stock images really make the Roaring Twenties setting come to life. Plot-wise, only a couple of major characters die; the rest just kind of muck around by the end of the book.

You won’t have too many details to remember for…

A confederacy between African and South American countries was considered too revolutionary to exist

There was a time when Brazil ruled over Portugal. It happened because of the Napoleonic wars when the Portuguese royal family was forced to flee to sunny Rio de Janeiro. After the little corporal met his Waterloo in 1815, King João chose to stick around for a while longer. …

Sam Aab

history & humor writer. Words in Slackjaw!

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